In practical terms, what are social skills?

1. A one on one communication where listening is a give and take interaction and each party intends to understand the messages conveyed.

2. A skill that is acquired through continuous learning. As you interact you begin to learn the aspects of personality of the person you are talking to. You begin to understand the person as to where he or she is coming from and you try to put yourself in his shoes as he relates his past experiences. You are able to draw out impressions of what he is really like and you try to act in a way that is within the appropriate norms.

3. Socials skills have two aspects – verbal and non-verbal. A person with good verbal social skills knows how to say the appropriate things at the right time, has the ability to communicate freely and get the conversation flowing smoothly, is capable of using the appropriate vocal tone and quality and able to convey the message in an educated and understandable manner.

A person with good non-verbal skills knows how to use bodily movement at an appropriate time. Your gestures enable you to convey your message clearly through actions. Your posture, your eye contact, your voice tone and facial expression are non-verbal social skills. Please take note that too many gestures can over kill. Do not over do it.

4. Social skills are influenced by culture and by a particular social group. A person’s social skills are based on how he or she was brought up. Most often, our behavior is brought about by our culture. A person’s social skills differ from one another. A kiss and hug on the cheek as a welcome gesture may not be a socially accepted gesture in some conservative countries.

5. Your social skills will improve as your self-esteem and worth are reinforced. It feels good to be rewarded with praise from others. One tends to be motivated and relaxed in carrying out the task when there is support at hand.

How you behave during interactions, how you put your words together, your adaptability to the environment you are in, and the way you handle matters at hand are factors that determine how your personality is judged. It is not enough to have the ready smile and feel confident. It’s not about looks; it’s not about what you know that draws people to like you. It is all about who you are, what you do, how you do things and how others see you that you are judged. Learning what social skills are will help you get the reward of feeling accepted. Step forward and be recognized.

For some fathers, wrestling and playing video games with their kids can lead to some light teasing on both sides, especially if you are losing. While it may not seem like it, recent studies have found that this practice of teasing can be a helpful parenting skill in improving a child’s social development.

New research from the National Communication Association found teasing can be a positive experience in child development because it teaches them “how to show affection and deal with conflict.”

“Research shows us that even very young children can recognize that teasing is not always bad; that sometimes it can be a fun way to play with friends and family,” said Carol Bishop Mills, one of the authors of the study.

This may include a light-hearted “I don’t think you’re gonna make it!” during a video game or a good-humored “You think you can take down the old man? Have at it!” before some playful wrestling.

The key, according to the researchers, is to make sure everyone is laughing and having a good time. They suggest fathers use their parenting skills to identify if the teasing crosses over to bullying.

If some slight aggression does emerge from the teasing, fathers can use the opportunity to teach their child about the difference between teasing and bullying, which may help the child in a school environment.

This somewhat loose approach toward parenting can benefit a child’s social, physical and intellectual development, according to Dr. Kyle Pruett, a professor of child psychiatry at Yale and author of Fatherneed.

By engaging children in this nontraditional manner, fathers may also develop strong bonds with their kids that may not have been formed another way. 

This problem is heightened by their difficulties with speech and language. As with autism, the asperger child / adolescent also seems to lack the ability to mind read, or have the ability of being able to tell or guess at what another person might be thinking.

Normally developing children and adolescents will observe others and guess, through a combination of tone and body language, what the other person may be thinking or feeling.

However, with aspergers this naturally developed skill is missing and so the ability to predict what another is feeling or thinking is not there…

This lack of being able to mind read can lead to social mistakes.

….And of cause social mistakes may lead to the asperger adolescent causing hurt feelings, asking inappropriate questions, acting oddly or generally opening themselves up to hostility, teasing, bullying and social isolation.

Quite often parents and educators of children and adolescents with asperger and autism feel unable to communicate properly with their asperger / autistic teen… and will struggle to understand their needs and act appropriately.

Sometimes the asperger teen may appear not to hear what has been said to them, they will often fail to respond to their name and can sometimes be indifferent to any attempts of communication with them.

Developing communication with your asperger adolescent is paramount, and may be a slow process. As with any adolescent the asperger youth will undoubtedly be experiencing changes in their body and their mood swings may become more apparent.

The normal teenage hormonal changes will still happen to your asperger adolescent, being on the spectrum and experiencing these changes can be an explosive cocktail!

As boys grow into men and girls grow in to young ladies, this can be a very daunting time for a parent or educator.

…As well as dealing with the changes in their bodies, mood swing and growing sexuality, there is also the onset of more grown up behavior…like swearing, dating, kissing and starting to get the desire us adults get when we meet someone we fancy!

A good stating point for any asperger / autistic adolescent, parent, or educator is something called social skills stories….These are an excellent tool for Social skills training for asperger adolescents

You can introduce social skills stories at any time…A good well written social skills story will have high pictorial content as well as text.

These short pieces of text, normally one page long will have pictorial cues as to what is happening.

They can be like throwing your asperger adolescent a life line.

 Appropriately written by experts, these social skills stories will explain in easy to understand language and pictures, what, why, where and when.

For example…A social kiss, what this is, why someone may want to kiss you, when it is appropriate to kiss someone, and the differences between kissing and a social kiss…undoubtedly, helping to stop unwanted over enthusiasm with kissing, or awkward situations!

Avoid uncomfortable situations, embarrassing situations and those situations you are dreading or make you cringe….Help explain the need for deodorant and being clean. What puberty means and how it will affect them.

…These social skills stories are normally printable so they can be used time and time again, in-fact they can be used for every situation you need help with.

These social skills stories are a fantastic communication device for a parent-giving you the tools you need to help you conquer Social skills training for asperger adolescents.

Read more on KTAB Abilene

Read more on Observer-Tribune