What the lack of conversation / social skills did to my life
December 14, 2009 by
Filed under social skills
A portrayal of the debilitating effects of not acquiring social / conversational skills early on in life. How it leads to a vicious cycle of further isolation, and a further dead-end as far as those skills are concerned. How the continuation of it leads to a lack of self-esteem, self-image, and self-confidence. Blog (entries on shyness / social skills as well as other general thoughts): pristinewaters.blogspot.com
I was sad watching this video because, it was the same way i was living before. it is sad why poeple don’t give chance to talk people who have lack of communication.
i know how u feel im in 8th grade and noone ever talks to me that makes me mentaly carzy and it makes me cry alot and today at lunch i sat alone cuz i got no scoil skills what so ever all my convos r like is hey whats up so how r u __________ o so yea im good so yea thats kool so yea_____ ok bye talk 2 u anothor time i geuss it so annoying i hate it i cant make freinds
I have to disagree in a way…
I can talk to people..but people show no interest in talking to ME.
Meaning…I can start a conversation. I can take risks and get a person talking about THEMSELVES…or even have conversations about nothing much.
But they never CONTINUE into a friendship…and they don’t turn (ever) to ask, “And what about YOU? What is YOUR experience/feelings/attitude?” it’s like I am a continual talk show host – never asked about ME.Never stayed with.
I have and do feel like you many times. I reject those who would accept me…and live ever and ever more in isolation. This hurts. I hate it.
I know I need help – but can’t afford the help it might take.
Years ago a counselor said… “You need girlfriends. (I am a female-so it wasn’t a dating/sexual thing)” And I thought…yeah…where am I suppose to get THOSE?
*** To the commentor above. Social skills ARE taught in schools now. But not to the point that it might help THIS level.
I wish the FUCKEN!!!! teachers!!!!!!!!
would FUCKEN TEACH SOCIAL!!!!!!
SKILLS!!!!!! in grammer and high school.
PARENTS ORE NOT!! GOD!!!!
PEOPLE EXPECT PARENTS TO KNOW EVERYTHING!!!
FUCK!!! ALL!!!! TEACHERS!!!!
I ame gonig through the same thing
I feel for you.
Well, you certainly arent the only one.
Although those of us with major social impairment are probably about 1% of the population. Lucky us! ha ha!
you have two choices..you can either learn the social skills you need to function properly… or just become a sociopath.
you’re video is so true, I’m the same way… lol being alienated because of lack of socials skills kills the soul.
Hey man look at all these people who just commented on your video are you blind or what great way to talk to others and make friends the problem is when the opportunity comes your way its not the way you want it to be take the opprtunity when it comes man trust me one thing leads to another.
I am that way, but I sure as hell don’t look at it feeling sorry for myself. The more you do that, and make a big deal out of it, the worse you get. Laugh it off, people aren’t judging you like you think they are, talk to them they want to connect… People Want to Connect. This video is a sad excuse to be alone, step outside of your comfort zone and ask people about themselves..They will like you simply because you took a genuine interest in them. Dont use the past as an excuse
BTW, I believe we need social skills right. But take a look at the word social SKILLS, it is a skill, and can be learned no matter how far down the rabbit hole you are.
It will be hard if you choose to change your path but remember anything worth doing is usually difficult.
Keep your head up, as this does not have to be the end.
I did a little research on the ‘landmark forum’ it will probably **** you up more than help you.
I’m not gonna suggest anything because it depends (and i don’t want to give bad info) If you need help, research, and check others reviews, double check, ask doctors, ask people who are out of the rut, etc etc.
Just some friendly advice, but I totally get were your coming from, as I am the same too.
Good luck.
I have the exact problems as you do. I’m currently getting better after some counseling and self-help stuff like law of attraction.
ahh sweetie, this video made me cry, you ARE special!!
Now a days people are less bad about what your skin color or that is, they don’t focus on looks they focus on you and who you are not for what you look like, try conversing instead of giving up, you’ll never know until you try, like maybe try talking with people and see how you do on it. If you actually do have autism get treatment and that will help you get those lost skills in which you couldn’t get.
“Thanks. To give people a chance – I will always try to remember that =)”
It’s all about the first impression which creates the opportunity to create the chance, that’s how I got a chance with people I gave off good first impressions, see that’s what creates the image in the other person head, I made good first impressions but than I fucked up and lost them as being someone. Most people can be mistreated cause of race/ethnic orgin not because of the way they communicate with others.
About this video and that; you say you didn’t develop socially or developed the ability to iniate or sustain a conversation in this, well those skills come natural I’m thinking you might have social anxiety where you think you are to incompetent to do any of this/or you might have autism where you couldn’t grasp those skills, sometimes people don’t develop socially (as normal people), but they do develop communication.
Hi!! my life has been pretty similar, now that i´m aware of that, i´m trying to improve my comunication, i do social activities as acting, and first of all understand and love. Thanks for you video.
i actually am this person, but i dont cry about it, i have one attitude about it which is, fuck em, i dont need a 100 friend list on my phone to feel normal, iam who iam
part 2?
Have u ever heard of a course called “Landmark Forum”? Check it out, they have introductory class where they describe what the course is about. I’m not advertising w/ them, but this course helped me out alot. Feel free to ask what it is. U basically get to be the way u’d like to b in real life during this course, and it sets u to a straighter path. Yes, plz try to believe that ur beautiful, thoughtful, and sensitive. Peace.
Thanks. To give people a chance – I will always try to remember that =)
The thing with people like me is that we’ve had such bad experience with ’society’ that we kind of treat ‘other people’ as a lump and see them in a bad light before we even get to know them as individuals. Sure, there are many people out there that mistreated me for being who I am; but I guess to lose faith in everyone and rejecting them, without even giving them a chance, isn’t the way to go.
Thank you =)
I just dated a guy who is self-described as a “loner.” I was the nice girl and he rejected me and broke my heart. I wanted to help him and befriend him w/o any agendas, but he was so rude and demeaning, he drove me away. If a nice person tries to befriend u, pleaz take a risk to give ppl a chance, to trust, to make mistakes & fix things along the way. What’s 1 more risk of rejection among a pile of thousands! And we ALL could relate to social rejections/anxiety. Thanx 4 the video.
Thanks for this video. I can relate all too well. I was never able to acquire social skills either, and it really sucks knowing how far behind I am from my peers. Great vid.